Volume 2, Issue 6

June 2000

6. Never remember special occasions such as birthdays or anniversaries.--Cards are too mushy and gifts are too expensive.
7. Always nag.--Men should nag about how dirty the house is, how awful dinner was, and why there is always a shortage of clean socks. Women should nag about the lawn needing mowing, the car needing waxing, and the garage needing a thorough cleaning.
8. Constantly compare your partner unfavorably to other persons.--Example: "Why don't you make as much money as Harry Green?" or, "Loretta looks gorgeous when George gets home from work. Why do you always have your hair in curlers?" Any snide remarks such as these will do.
9. Never worry about your appearance.--The other person married you for better or worse and this happens to be your worst. So what? It's your right not to shower or shave for a couple of days. So what if you wear curlers and night cream to bed?
10. Never pray for each other or pray together.--Who needs the help?
--Carol Livingstine

guaranteed, with practice, to ruin any marriage, no matter how good it is. Read them carefully. Are you practicing any of these mistakes right now? Maybe it's not too late to mend your ways.
1. Stop being appreciative of each other.--Never say "Thank you" or "please" for anything your partner does for you. Consider appreciation unnecessary.
2. Don't even try to keep the romance alive.--It'll fizzle out eventually anyway, so why bother? Creating or encouraging romance is a lot of work.
3. Do everything together.--That way you can keep close watch on each other so one cannot grow on his own.
4. Ignore each other.--This is  particularly effective at meal times. What could you possibly have interesting to say to each other anyway?
5. Never go out together--just the two of you.--What would you do anyway? Take along friends to talk to and be entertained by.

• When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I wanted to paint   another one.
  
• When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I knew that little things are special things.
  
• When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything I could be.
  
• When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I believed there is a God I could always talk to.
  
• When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw your tears and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
  
• When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me goodnight and I felt loved.
  
• When you thought I wasn't looking, I did look...thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.